-Kole
The lead is very informative. It gives what the rest of the story is going to be about; spring season football. Or is the focus football in general, maybe rewording could make it a little clearer. The angle is geared towards students of the school or people who want to know more about football. The point of view is coming from a retired football player, so we know he knows what he is talking about. The quotes that were used fit very well with the context used. We got another inside look of what it was like as a student to be waking up so early for spring ball. I think it would benefit the reader if they got a perspective from the coach that also has to go through the early mornings and having to coach and train the entire team. I feel like the setup of the story is very here’s this, this is what it is, then this happened; I think if there was a bit of rewording it could flow a little better. I also think that it is better not to have the reader go back and reread what they already read, but to kind of sum it up or reword it so they already know what you are talking about. The impact of the story is clear, people will know how the usual Spring ball goes.
-Jack
The lead does grab you because it talks about how last school year had the highest number of students studying abroad compared to the previous years. I can tell that the paper is going to be about studying abroad and how to actually study abroad. The quotes that were used were well used because they gave the inside words from the coordinators of the study abroad program. I think that possible including quotes from people who have gone abroad could potentially enhance the story. I think the set up backs up what the leading paragraph talks about. I think maybe changing the location of the social media paragraph to above the quote by David Suda could make the story flow a little better because the social media paragraph and the second paragraph are talking about getting the students interested and where they can find information. It is a little unclear as to what angle is being taken, I think you are part of the Global Education program but I am not 100% sure. I feel like the audience is more geared towards prospective students and parents of children who plan to go to college. I think if there was a little bit more of a backstory it could help support the reasoning behind why this story is being told.
-Troy
The lead is clear the focus of the paper is the parking lots on campus and how the snow removal process works. This angle is definitely coming from the student perspective, all those quotes used are coming from students. I think it would be beneficial if there were quotes from security who are those ones who are part of setting up the snow removal schedule. I think if the quotes were set up so that “said whoever” did not have to be repeated it would allow the story to flow a little better. I think there are a lot of confused students and that is clear in the wording of the story, but possibly by adding what security is doing and how they view the situation could give light on the story as to what is happening on the other end. Also, possibly adding quotes from commuters, faculty, and staff could help understand the parking situation. I think if you would place all of the quotes dealing with the same saying or problem right after each other, the reader would get a better understanding of how big of a problem the plowing schedule actually is. The impact this story has on the reader is that UNE has a terrible snow removal system and it would probably be better if a student at UNE just did not bring a car to campus.
-Tyler
The lead is understandable, as to what the paper is going to be about. The angle is coming from the students of UNE, the residents who live on campus and are directly impacted when they have to move their car for snow removal and have to pay $350 just for a spot that could be ideal or not. I think there could be more quotes, especially from commuters, faculty, and security that could help get all sides of the story and help enhance it as well. I feel that the impact this story has on the reader is negative, they can clearly read how bad the parking is here and that there should be something done about it. You could possibly mention how the freshmen parking incentive is only for freshmen but doesn’t help the rest of the upperclassmen that also do not have cars on campus. I think the context of the story hits the key components of what the parking is like here at UNE other than the fact about how commuters, faculty, and security view the situation. I think it would be very beneficial to talk to Chad Stevens, assistant head of security about how he views the parking lots because there is a side that gives an insight as to how they actually operate the parking.
